The Joy of Missing Out

A New Year is always such a magical time, full of possibility as January 1st hits with a feeling of freshness in the air. For many, New Year’s resolutions lists come out, and dreams of the perfect vacation, summer body, new car, dream house, promotion, or insert your dream here. While goal setting and big dreams are great tools, it’s essential to make sure your visions for the future are rooted in the right attitude and mindset.

Often, we have great ambitions, but we haven’t dealt with the underlying fears and genuine reasons “why” behind our New Year’s resolutions and goals. If you’ve found yourself making resolutions and feeling guilty, ashamed, not enough, or like you’re missing out, it might be time to reassess and prioritize your mindset for the New Year over goals that make you feel less than enough. Especially in times of economic uncertainty and stress, permit yourself to take care of yourself first.

Having Enough

Perception is everything. No matter how much you accomplish in the coming year, whether you feel like you did enough or have enough is entirely dependent on your mindset. It’s the difference between setting a goal because you lack something or setting a goal as motivation to work toward the life that brings you joy. The goal may not change, but your feelings toward your goal and willingness to stick to it just might.

Dealing with FOMO

Focus on building your muscles of gratitude and practicing thankfulness for what you already accomplished and all the things you already received. When you start from a place of gratitude and having enough, you’re no longer motivated or controlled by fear. There’s nothing to miss out on - only new experiences and things to gain moving forward. When you start from a place of having enough and truly being enough for yourself, the way you look at everything in your life changes from feelings of lack to feeling the abundance of what you already have and what you stand to gain.

Practical ways to practice gratitude:

•  Journal 3 things you’re thankful for every day
•  Say three things out loud that you like about yourself in the mirror every morning
•  Say thank you with sincerity (and without arguing) when someone says something nice about you or gives you a compliment
•  Tell your partner something you love about them or a reason that you are genuinely thankful for them
•  Reward yourself for milestones and goals you’ve completed and take time to celebrate what you’ve accomplished

New Year - Same Me

Can I tell you something? You don’t need to change who you are this year. You are enough, just as you are. You don’t need to lose ten pounds, make six figures, or be perfect. You don’t need to be anything more than you are right now. The best type of resolutions you can make are those that build on your inherent strengths instead of trying to change your weaknesses.

Build on Your Strengths

Try a new approach instead of making New Year’s resolutions that focus on what you need to change about yourself. Sit down and make a list of things you love about yourself, your natural talents, and your interests.

For example:

•  I love my sense of humor
•  I am a great listener
•  I love giving helpful advice about traveling to my friends
•  I love my strong legs and how fast they can run
•  I am great at organizing events

Make your own list and use it as a basis for your new and improved resolutions. If you love telling jokes, you could take an improv class or pick a comedy house to check out for date night. If you naturally love to run (or dance, do yoga, or go for nature walks), make goals or join classes that build on that strength. The best exercise is the kind you can get excited about and stick to consistently. If you love organizing events, focus on community opportunities that allow you to get involved or volunteer for events you’re that spark your passion. You just might find the connection to your dream job or an opportunity to further work in what you love.

When you identify your strengths and natural interests, you can use them as a roadmap toward goals you want to stick with all year long and a life you genuinely get excited about living.

Finding Joy

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, joy is “a feeling of great happiness” or “a source or cause of great happiness.” For such a short definition, joy can feel so mysteriously elusive in our day-to-day lives. Where do you find joy?

Joy is Found in the Present Moment

You will find joy and that feeling of peace in the present moment when you’re living in gratitude for the present moment. Paradoxically, the more you hunt for happiness or strive for more so you can feel like enough, the less joy you find.

Joy is the antithesis of FOMO because fear of missing out on life means you are constantly living in an anxious state of worry about the present. Joy allows you to settle into the current moment, grateful for exactly where you’re at and feeling “enough” precisely the way you are. “Enough” doesn’t dwell on what you don’t have or what you shouldn’t do. It’s about focusing on the goals that align with your purpose and help you live more richly in the present moment, which will lead you to an ever-growing life of joy.

If you are wanting to work on the rhythm of money whether it be finding joy, feeling enough, or mitigating thoughts of missing out, please reach out to me for a consult. 

Photo by Willian Luiz from Pexels