In honor of International Women's Day, I would like to shine light on domestic violence that women experience worldwide which includes financial abuse. 

Statistics

Data from Center for Disease Controls National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS) indicate: about 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 have experienced severe intimate partner violence in their lifetime. Domestic violence and abuse comes in many forms, whether it’s physical, emotional, psychological or sexual - but it can also be financial. Likely, it’s a mix of these, but not always all of them.  However, of those who experience violence in a relationship, 98% will also experience financial abuse. 

Financial Abuse

Financial abuse involves controlling a victim's ability to acquire, use, and maintain financial resources with the intent to gain or maintain control and power. This can range from limiting or restricting access to money, hiding money or purchases, being critical of expenditures, using intimidation, guilt, or manipulation, to preventing someone from working. This type of abuse leads to dependency and makes it hard for victims to break free of the relationship secondary to financial insecurity for themselves or their children. 

Impact of Financial Abuse

As with all abuse there are serious impacts to a person's mental, emotional, and financial state. A victim may not recognize the financial abuse as the abuse can be microaggressions, or they are being gaslit (made to feel crazy), or the abuse has progressed over a period of time.  Abuse erodes ones confidence and self-worth, leading to self-doubt, anxiety, depression and continued dependence on the abuser.  Financial abuse can result in a limited work history, bad credit, or substantial and limiting debt. This, in addition to a lack of access to money or resources in the present moment, makes it difficult to escape or plan a safe departure. 

Types of Financial Abuse

In her blog post, How to Identify Financial Abuse in a Relationship by Sherri Gordon for Verywellmind, Sherri identifies three tactics used by financial abusers. The first tactic is exploiting your resources such as taking money or credit cards without permission. The second is interfering with your job such as telling your where you can and cannot work. And, the third is controlling shared assets and resources such as criticizing every financial decision you make. 

Financially Preparing to Leave

If you feel that your relationship is unhealthy or you believe that you are being abused, know that you are not alone and that there is help and support for you. As every situation and relationship is different, it may feel overwhelming to start to begin the process to remove yourself from the situation or relationship. 

Checklist 

If you would like a comprehensive checklist on how to prepare to leave a financially abusive relationship, click here. It is named 'How to get your financial house in order' for safety. It will require your name and email and it will be sent via email. 

Please find below some steps to take if you or a loved one is experiencing financial abuse.

• Call the National Domestic Violence hotline - 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) to help you make plans or give you ideas.   
• Connect with a victim advocate or identify a trusted family member or friend for support. 

• Open a bank account with no paper trail. 

•  Establish a credit card in your name alone.

•  Pull your credit report free through Experian, Equifax or TransUnion.

•  Place a 90 day fraud alert with the major credit bureaus (you only need to contact one)

•  List your assets and liabilities so you are aware of your financial situation. 

•  Create a budget. Identify all of your shared bank accounts and their login details. 

• Take your name off any joint account, credit card, car payments, etc. 

•  Stockpile cash and/or resources. 

  • Identify family or friends that can help you with a loan. 
  • Bank your tax return. 
  • If you are working, contact HR or change the automatic deposit part of your paycheck into a separate account. You can also adjust your W-2 to receive more in your paycheck but this could result in taxes owed. 
  • Use grocery money to buy gift cards for later use (if items are scrutinized, you can go to a food pantry for monthly food to allow room in the food budget). Or, get cash back when shopping.
  • If you are not working or are making low wages, apply for cash assistance and food stamps. You can set it up as undomiciled to send your mail to the local social services office (if not married). Or, ask for a DV test so that the partner's wages are disregarded and they will not alert them. 
  • If you carry debt, pay minimums on the debt only.
  • Work side jobs if needed.

Photo by Ron Lach from Pexels